Changing Standards of Marriage: The Difficulty with Marrying Young in Today’s Society

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Common perspectives on marriage have changed throughout the course of history time and time again. Marriage is very much an institution constructed by societal beliefs and values during that period of time.

In the 1980s, the average age for an American woman to marry for the first time was 22. Thirty years later, the average age for a first marriage jumped to 26 for women and 28 for men.

While this jump in age worries many people, there are others who strongly believe that marrying at an older and more mature age benefits a marriage significantly.

There are two primary factors involved with marrying young that put the couples who embark on this adventure at an immediate disadvantage.

One of the biggest stressors put on a married couple (and any individual in this economy) is finances. Financial woes can put an undue amount of stress on any relationship young or old, married or unmarried. However, young married couples are far more likely to encounter such woes than individuals who marry at an older age when they are in a more comfortable and stable financial situation.

As young adults still in or just out of college, you are faced with fewer opportunities to stabilize your economic lives. Paying off student loans, entering the “real world” for the first time, and scouring to find your first real job may not be the best environment to try to cultivate a marriage in. This is not to say that young married couples can’t survive these challenges.

Some may even argue that conquering these financial obstacles with your partner when you are both young can only strengthen your bond. While this is entirely possible, it is also entirely possible that the unnecessary stresses created by young marriage and early financial uncertainty will be detrimental to a union.

Several emotional factors play into marrying at a young age as well. While financial instability is a concrete number that an individual can point to as an issue, emotional growth is somewhat more difficult to define.

Studies indicate that most people reach a state of mental maturity at around 25 years old. Prior to reaching this point, we tend to make our decisions primarily based on emotion and instinct rather than on logic or reasoning. For this reason, marrying at a young age can be difficult.

Many individuals between the ages of 18 and 24 are simply unprepared for the emotional challenges and compromise that marriage requires. Sometimes, couples who marry young will grow and mature together. However, many will also grow separately and in different directions.

By no fault of the relationship or any single partner, a union will strain as each member matures and begins to learn new things about themselves and their partner.

Of course, the success or failure of a marriage and relationship is not dependent on any universal factor. Each relationship is unique and each couple manages challenges differently. As people continue to stay unmarried later into life, perspectives on marriage continue to change and fluctuate.

Marriage is a beautiful and cherished experience full of challenges and learning. Take this important step in life when you and your partner feel truly prepared for the adventure. When deciding whether to marry at a young age, consider the financial and emotional issues and implications that accompany your decision.

The key strategy to maintaining a successful marriage young or old is entering the union with realistic expectations.

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