One of the things I love about coming to Find All Answers is that I can get excellent blogging tips and relationship advice all in one place.
Now that’s an efficient use of my time!
It got me thinking - in many ways, engaging your blog readers and romancing a new girlfriend are quite similar.
It’s all about getting their attention, finding out what they like, and treating them like they’re the only person in the world.
How about that!
You can use the same strategies to build a loyal blog readership AND get a really cool girlfriend!
[Author’s Note: Although this is written from a male perspective, all of these strategies apply to both sexes, with a little imagination!]
Let’s take a closer look….
5 Ways to Romance Your Blog Readers Like a New Girlfriend
Make it all about her!
One of the most important things to remember is to make it all about her.
There are lots of topics to keep away from on your first date, and the last thing you want to do is dominate the conversation with you, you, you.
Ask questions, show interest, and get to know more about her.
Knowing her favorite flowers, color, and movie can go a long way towards helping you pick out a great gift or choosing where to go on your next date.
Similarly, if you’re going to have a popular blog, you need to make it ALL about your readers.
Find out what they want to know about, and give it to them. Understand their most pressing needs and biggest obstacles, then help them solve their problems.
If you can do that, you’ll have loyal blog readers for life.
Hold that door!
When romancing a new girlfriend, it’s important to be on your best behavior. Hold the car door open for her when you’re going out.
Take her coat when you enter a room. Carry her packages when you’re shopping.
In other words, show her you are a gentleman.
How does this relate to a blog?
RESPECT.
You want to show your readers that you respect their time. When you post something, make it worth their while to read it.
Don’t slam them with constant product pitches or the newest, best opportunity. It’s a huge turnoff for most people.
And while you’re at it, make it easy for them to find things on your blog. Don’t make them work.
If your readers feel respected, they’ll keep coming back for more.
Keep her guessing
The last thing you want a new girlfriend to feel is BORED.
You know, when you ask a girl to the movies on a first date, that’s nice. But if you take her to the movies on your first 5 dates, that’s boring.
Put some thought into your dates. Find out what she likes (see #1) and surprise her. Keep her guessing.
Don’t be boring and predictable, or you’ll be single again very shortly.
The same is true with your blog. Your readers don’t want the same old stuff, over and over again.
There are many ways you can mix up your blog to keep it fresh.
- Use video and audio on your blog to change the way you deliver your content.
- Announce a contest for your readers (“Most comments wins a free coaching session!”) - a great way to encourage blog commenting among your readers.
- Ask for help (“Which new blog header do you like - vote now!“)
Let your imagination run wild. Be spontaneous, Be provocative.
Just don’t be boring!
Give her unexpected gifts
Girls love unexpected gifts (and so do guys!).
Nothing big, just a little something to say, “You are special to me.”
Give her something unexpected for no reason at all. Or, give her a small gift to celebrate your two-week or one month anniversary.
That’s very romantic.
Celebrate small milestones in your growing relationships, and surprise her often!
Your blog readers will also love unexpected gifts.
Imagine their delight when they come to your blog and see they can download a a free ebook or private video for free, no strings attached.
Just be sure it something they’ll find useful or valuable.
Just like you wouldn’t want to give your new girl an old, beat up candlestick holder as a gift (unless she happens to collect old, beat up candlestick holders), you won’t want to give away a free ebook on flower arrangements if your blog is about bicycle repair.
Make it relevant, make it worthy, and most of all, make it a surprise.
Ask for feedback
After you’ve dated your new girlfriend for a while, find out how you’re doing.
Ask questions and find out where you stand.
You know, some girls may find that little habit you have of constantly checking your hair in the mirror endearing, while others may find it annoying and self-absorbed.
If you discover something that annoys her, stop doing it.
And when she tells you that she loves something you do, keep doing more of it!
The same holds true with your blog readers.
Ask them what they like and don’t like about your blog.
Give them a short survey to fill out and ask them for feedback (I use Survey Monkey to put surveys on my blog, but there are many other services out there).
Take the results and use them to make your blog a better place for your readers to visit.
The important thing is to ask.
There you have it — 5 ways you can romance your blog readers like a new girlfriend.
You probably have other ways you use if you think about it.
How about it? How do YOU romance your blog readers?
What’s working for you?
Leave a comment below and join in the Discussion.
Great tips on blogging. Yes, I’ve made many mistakes in blogging which I can see are now similar to the mistakes when I was a younger man dating. The way I’ve blogged for quite some time was simply to use a blog a bulletin board to announce what’s happening and report success stories. Now I realize that this is much too self promotional. I’m slowly producing more and more useful content that readers w0uld find valuable rather than just write about myself and what I’ve done. Old habits die hard but I’m getting there. Thanks for the reminder!
Hi Clint,
Sounds like you’re on the right track! The mistakes you made early on are very common. Many bloggers start out making it all about themselves, their opportunity and their products.
That’s not what readers are generally looking for. In their minds, they have a problem (or problems) that need solving. If you can help them with that, they’ll come back time and again.
Thanks for the comment, Clint!
You have written this post by keeping in view the human psychology. Your all tips are in accordance with human instinct.I know one tip ” do not offend your receivers “.
Hi Nawaz,
There is a huge psychological component to all parts of online marketing, whether it be selling, recruiting, or marketing. You need to know what your prospects hot buttons are. One of those buttons is likely to be trust.
They want to trust you! Blogging is such a great way to build trust, if you do it the right way.
I Completely agree with you Bob.
These are awesome tips Bob. I’m a new blogger and I’m having problems turning visitors into regular readers. So I’ll start using some of your tips. I’ll try using contest for my readers and also using some audio (podcasts maybe).
Thanks,
Anita
Sounds like a great plan, Anita.
Just be sure that you are giving your readers what they want, and they’ll come back time and again. Be sure that you’ve researched your target market and do your best to understand everything about them.
Then write about what they need and want.
Thanks for the comment, Anita.
Hi, dr Bob,
does your wife know that you are searching for a cool girlfirend on blogs? Just kidding…wish I put some smilies here, but I don’t think it’s appropriate to add them in the comment section. Actually, I even know two couples that got to know each other in the way you were describing…it all went naturally, and they are still together after five years. The other couple even got married…it’s that far it can go.
Haha Kristina… my wife actually helped me with ideas for the post, so it’s all good!
That’s a key phrase you used… “it all went naturally.” It should feel natural when you’re interacting with your readers. You want them to feel like you “get them” and even as a friend. Ideally, YOU should be your target market. If you’ve been where they are (or still are), you’ll know exactly how they feel and what they need to move forward.
If you’ve never been in their shoes, then you have some research to do!
Thanks for your comment, Kristina.
This blog post is just awesome . thanks to the author of this post. this post is psychological. the Title is just good and content clarity is nice too.
Thanks Eric… appreciate the kind words.
As I said in my response to Nawaz’s comment, to a large extent marketing is all about psychology. Know them, understand them, BE one of them… and they will trust you and buy from you.
Hi Dr. Bob,
I like the analogy that you came up with here. Every reader that comes to our blog will have their own needs and values. I believe that what is most important is being real and being ourselves and having something of value to offer.
I am going to try out survey monkey, haven’t used it yet for my blog.
Hi Justin,
Your philosophy is spot-on — be real, be yourself and add value. Awesome!
You have to be real and genuine in your blog, otherwise your readers will sense the disconnect. That’s something I hadn’t hit on, but we can add it to the list above.
Great insights, Justin!
You certainly won’t get laid that way
Hi Bojan,
Well, that isn’t the point, is it? If it is, good luck with that second date!
It’s equivalent to spamming your readers with offer after offer or post after post of how great your opportunity is. They’ll politely (or impolitely) close the door in your face and you’ll never see them again!
I like your tips! Those are very personalized.
Thanks, Lisa… appreciate the feedback!
All great points, really puts it into perspective, thanks for sharing Bob. The “Keep Her Guessing” part I really enjoyed. The message I basically got was to be diverse and keep your topics/ideas fresh and unique, aka mix things up a bit and surprise her (or your readers) with something good, useful and new.
Now trying to get an actual date, that might be tricky, the whole blogging thing I get but I’m a bit rusty when it comes to dating lol.
Hi Darryl,
Yes, keep your content fresh and unique, but also keep your readers guessing by HOW you deliver your content… mix up text, video, audio, etc., and don’t forget to take some time on a really interesting photo to break things up.
I agree about dating… if I needed to start dating again I would indeed be very rusty!
Thanks for the comment, Darryl.
Hi Bob,
great job on your first guest post. And what a lovely analogy
The last thing we want to be is boring…giving a variety of topics to people - without being completely inconsistent - is certainly key to success. That’s definitely something you and also Jane have mastered.
Well, girls can be as shy as deer. If they love red roses, they do. It can backfire on us when we experiment with green tulips instead…
As a matter of fact, we have to be natural, we have to be ourselves. We can’t play a role for long, can we ? In business and in life.
Thanks for sharing your insights.
Take care
Oliver
Hi Oliver!
Great to see you over here on Jane’s blog! Your comment made me smile, especially with the tulip analogy. Yes, while we want to keep things interesting, we must keep in mind what the girl (or readers) want.
And yes, we have to be ourselves. People talk about being transparent and that’s okay, but I feel its just as important (if not more so) to be yourself and show the real you. After all, that’s what will attract others to you in the long run.
Thanks for your insights, Oliver!
Wow, Bob - this is an excellent post. I loved the points you used to make the analogy between “a new girlfriend” and new readers. I know blogging and marketing are often compared to dating, in a couple of articles but yours clearly stands out. I’d like to read it again.
Thanks for the kind words, Stella.
There are many similarities between real life and blogging, especially when we begin to talk about building relationships. It’s the key to blogging, and to romance!
I appreciate you taking the time to comment, Stella!
Only word comes to my mind — SUPERB! The idea itself to compare a blog to a girl-friend is nice. You analyze every tips so deeply and it makes me even think that I am doing mistakes with my boy-friend sometimes, not even mentioning a blog. Thanks a lot.
Hey Anna,
Well, I intended this post to help bloggers build and keep an audience, but I didn’t believe it would actually help people with their own relationships. That’s so awesome.
But in the end, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised because the concepts are so similar, whether we are building blogging or personal relationships.
Thanks for the comment, Anna!
Blog readers are more than a girlfriend. If a blog has no reader,it is just like a jungle.No online value without reader.
Hi Khan,
I’m not sure I understand your comment, but I do agree that a blog with no readers is essentially a diary!
Hi Dr Clarke,
Wow, what a fantastic post! Well done on your very first guest post!
I loved your analogy - as bloggers, we don’t want to be boring to our readers. The key is to keep the flame going by being engaging, entertaining, enlightening and educating!
Thanks for these great reminders, Dr Clarke.
I look forward to your next guest post.
All the best,
Mavis
Thanks for your kind words, Mavis.
Jane made it very simple and was very supportive of my first guest post effort. I can’t wait to do more, both on Jane’s blog and on others as well.
I totally agree — engage, entertain, enlighten and educate. If you can accomplish even one of these in every post, you’ll be well on your way to a loyal readership!
Appreciate the comment, Mavis.
Girl Friend concept is really great. But if a blog owner is a Girl, then how will she treat her visitors? like her boy friends? hahaha.. but it seems difficult for a girl having so much boyfriends…:)
Haha Ross… love your sense of humor.
This post (despite the title) was intended to be gender neutral, since the same concepts apply for both.
Thanks for the comment.
Bob
You’re most welcome, Dr Clarke!
All the best,
Mavis
I just hope boyfriends are just like bloggers to their girlfriends..:)) Cute analogy! I like the tips and the whole article. Looking forward to your next interesting post!
Thanks for the kind words!
Regard ing boyfriends, the “good ones” should be all this and more!
Thanks for the comment.
I think respect for your readers is a very important thing in blogging. It could be a simple thing like answering a question in a comment but still they make a huge difference.
Hey Nishadha,
Yes, it all begins with respect. Without this, you will have no return readers.
You’re right about replying to comments. I reply to all my comments because it’s the least I can do when my readers have taken the time to comment.
And one other great way to show respect is to publish quality content. I always tell my students… if you don’t have anything to say, then don’t. It’s not worth wasting your readers time just for the sake of posting.
Your readers will appreciate the respect.
Thanks for the comment!
I remember when I was still courting my wife. We pretty much did everything in your “checklist” minus the car as I didn’t have that yet back then.
I believe the number one factor for blog growth is establishing connections with your readers. Getting to know who your targeted audience is, is a must. This is the common issue among newbies. You don’t just craft great contents it has to be tailored such that it entices engagement. “Write for your readers”, that for me is the key.
You’re so right, Ramcel.
I see so many newbie bloggers who don’t really know why they’re writing content, so it tends to blend in with everyone else in the blogosphere. Once you know who your readers are, you can write just to them… and they will respond.
Thanks for your insights.
This indeed is interesting.. Most of us have been thinking out of the box where the fact is that it’s just as simple as putting part of our daily routine lifestyle into the blog.
Sometimes simple rules of etiquette are all that’s needed to establish the rapport that most bloggers seek.
You got me with the “ask for feedback” line. I can just picture how a stand-up comedian would run with that. You know, instead of risking a kiss under the porch light at the end of the date, the guy pulls out a clipboard and starts asking questions. LOL
That’s funny… I can picture it, too.
First I want to say congratulations for your first guest post. A job very well done my friend.
Now aren’t you glad your son got a new girlfriend and inspired an idea for this post! Boy does it ever relate as you so clearly stated. Guess I never thought about it that way but then again, why would I. But it all makes such perfect since. These are your new visitors and you want them to feel special, just like a new girlfriend. And being able to make that connect that’s going to want to keep them coming back for more. Yep, I can definitely see how they compare.
Well done Bob, well done. Really enjoyed reading this post because you’ve made it fun. Hope to see more from you in the future.
Adrienne
Thanks for your support and kind words, Adrienne. This was such a fun post to right because it all just crystallized in my mind as I watched my son. Still makes me smile.
It was also fun because it fit in so well with the multi niche aspect of Jane’s blog. Jane made it a great experience!
Bob -
Okay, you were right, the picture alone made this worth a look!! But don’t get me wrong - the rest of the article was great, too. I can totally see the similarities between wooing a new mate and wooing blog readers, and it gave me a whole new perspective on both activities. Well done, you!
Natasha
Thank you, Natasha.
There are so many similarities when you really take a look at it, right. But that’s because both romancing a new girlfriend or boyfriend and wooing your blog readers have the same basic motivation — get noticed, be attractive, and understand others.
Excellent tips on blogging Bob. I have one to add - don’t assult your readers with ads or houver ‘SIGN UP’ banners the minute they land on your site. It just makes me crazy to get hit with that before I even have an opportunity to read a single post or see what the blog is all about.
I’m certainly with you on that one, Marty. But that’s a subject of a whole other post!
Hey Bob, what a creative way to compare blog visitors to a girlfriend! Also congratulations on your first guest post.
I fell you did an a excellent job on conveying the importance of looking after our readers.
It’s definitely something we all need to try for… on a continuous basis.
I enjoyed your post very much. Now to polish up some of those ‘dating’ habits… with my blog readers of course.
Best
Jayne
Thanks, Jayne!
It’s definitely a process for sure… our work as bloggers is never done when it comes to our readers!
Appreciate the comment, Jayne!
May I add a couple thoughts to your point about respect and the ability to find things on a blog. Here are a couple things that I really appreciate:
1. A search box for searching the blog, It surprises me when blogs do not have them. Sometimes, I know I had seen an article, but now cannot find it. The seach box can be a fast solution.
2. Navigation arrows above or below a post that take the reader to the next or previous post. Especially helpful if there was a series of posts. Without those buttons it can be very hard to read a 3 month old post that is #5 in a series of 8 posts, and then be able to go quickly to post #6 in the series.
3. Finally a side widget that lists recent posts. This saves clicking through post after post, for which I just don’t have time. I am more apt to scan a list of headlines.
Thanks Dr Bob - good analogy and good suggestions.
Great points, Richard.. it also drives me crazy when I can’t find a search box. It makes it so much easier for the visitor to find relevant information, rather than having to scroll though categories or, even worse individual posts.
Great feedback, Richard. Thanks for the comment.
I love this! it’s really so true when you compare how you treat your readers.
Knowing what to say at the right time and just being yourself will help us get that date or attract that reader.
Great post, thanks again!
-Kevin
Thanks for the positive feedback, Kevin!
You’re so right… timing is everything!
Hi Bob, congratulations on your first guest post.
I was intrigued by the title of it on your blog Bob and had to come over and see how you compared the new girlfriend and blogging.
I have to say that I think you’ve hit the nail on the head Bob. I haven’t carried out any surveys as yet but I think I’ve covered the other pointers.
I view my blog as the office window and love chatting to my fellow workers through it. I think that our blogs should consider our readers and we should treat them all with the respect they deserve. As well as making our blogs as reader friendly as possible, as well as adding “perks” to those that take the time to comment. CommentLuv, KeywordLuv, do follow, Top Commenters etc. They’re free to install and give people a little link love.
Great post Bob, I’ll put some thought into a survey. Maybe what you do and don’t like about my blog……..
Ummm, thinking…
Thanks Bob, Barry
Hey Barry,
Great to see you over here at FindAllAnswers! So glad that the title intrigued you! It means my copywriting courses are paying off!
Definitely try surveys…. it changes things up from the usual posting format and gives your readers a voice!
Appreciate your insights, Barry!
Dr. Bob,
What a great analogy. You must have had lots of new girlfriends and I bet they were sorry when the relationship came to an end, unless you learned the hard way and have only discovered these important lessons after the fact. The same is so true for blogging and tweeting. Just yesterday, I attempted to explain to a colleague that here tweets need to be more appealing (she just put links - come see my blog, visit my web site, follow me….) and she didn’t get it.
Erica
you have explained clearly how to attract blog readers and how to manage them by comparing with romance with a new girlfriend. we should attract blog readers ,once they comes to our blog then we should pay much attention to stay with our blog some time and visit our blog regularly,by that we can get more traffic to our site.thanks for your post